5 colors of depression, grief and loss

I was struck with such an unmoveable weight in my heart last night when I saw  text messages sent by the most beloved people in my life telling me that Robin Williams passed away.

The Monday blues continued to whisk me further into a pit of despair and I cried relentlessly using up the last of the toilet paper I had stashed away under my bed.

I’ll tell you why…

Sunday was my day off from work and I celebrated my hometown’s gay pridefest with hummingbird. We were awestruck by the flow. It was pure joy to just be but I grew more sad as the day came to a close.

Everytime I feel free and happy, I must return to the mundane energy that the straight world imposes on the gay creature.

I get depressed and don’t want to speak to anyone when I feel homesick. That’s me.

Well, for the sake of simplicity I felt out some colors that I believe will help capitulate the senses when it comes to grief, loss and depression.

colors for depression

Probably the most obvious colors of this sullen force are black and gray. This combination often sets off a piece of artwork to appear dismal like bad weather and death. However more profoundly, I find that black is more so used in protection. At the pridefest, I’ve seen lots of attire consisting of black and this accent color seems to intensify the full spectrum of color in the rainbow in addition to making sure we ‘happy’ people are protected or closely grounded in shadows so that our natural light is not compromised.

How else are we to understand the light without the dark?

Gray matter is a secondary element to understanding grief in all forms because somehow we attach memories and forgetfulness to loneliness. When I am in a depressed state, I am unable to recall or have a harder time remembering the feelings of happiness or joy that someone or some event has allowed me to experience prior to the melancholy. Getting swept up by regrets and stagnancy places your soul in a ghostland. This in-between limbo feeling causes confusion and befuddles the best of us.

Rose red is related to your root chakra and thus speaks about intimacy and specifically lack thereof. For many, we yearn for an intimate understanding of our self and feel hopeless when we look outside to only discover that a majority of people and situations are absent of the treasure to which our soul seeks. I believe intuitively that rose red can stimulate the best parts of the root chakra but will depend on an individual’s own aura to gauge the proper color balance. Red fundamentally will relate to karmic pain as well as suicide.

URGENT: If you do feel depressed, lost and having an urge to be saved please take the time to chat with someone.

Purple is quite an independent color and it’s  found at your third eye chakra. Naturally our third eye reminds us of our inner world and how we see or envision our dreams. The darker hues of purple and violet match depression because we fall into a spell of withdrawal. Hermiting from our present moments to be slaves to our subconscious fears…alone. I advise using purple generally to establish fortitude with boundaries against energy vampires, but when your energetic circuit is compromised by depression or grief, this color can inadvertently build up mental blocks stronger than any tool can chisel away at. Be mindful when playing with self-sufficiency and the color purple as you may find your relationships with others distant and reserved.

The murkiness hidden within ivy green is an earth bound resentment for the soul linked to the heart chakra. In England it was believed that if ivy did not grow on a tombstone then the soul in the afterlife was unhappy. I believe this color green is symbolic of the growth of negativity that depression and other dis-eases bring to our energetic bodies and spaces. Vines of any sort can appear as a nuisance for most and may cause damage if the growth is not removed. The energy ensnares our freedom to escape.  Ivy in a metaphysical capacity reminds us how the soul wanders through time and space in search for enlightenment.  I actually own an ivy plant and it loves to grow toward the light but stay in the shadows of my windowsill. Much like a victim of depression this is true and the soul that dwells inside this earthly form may never be truly satisfied in this lifetime as it craves heart-based desires too foreign for this day and age.

robin williams quote photo

I’ll be honest, I don’t have the cure for your souls grief, firefly but I do try my hardest to paint the picture better to help you understand visually, emotionally and spiritually what your karmic commitments might be. So please if you are feeling down don’t let it bind you from living an extraordinary life you are destined to love. Sending you lots of well wishes and may you find peace with your shadowside. I am right alongside you and if you need some cheering support find me over on Facebook or Instagram, I would be honored to welcome your soul to my sacred space.

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Loyalty bites the hell out of me


If you had to take a bullet for anyone who would it be?
Or maybe you wouldn’t take a hit for anybody. 

The reasons behind your motivations in either case don’t interest me. There are thousands of souls out there that take literal and figurative bullets every day. Each blow is profound and will often create trauma so deep that it can paralyze them from seizing divine opportunities to be loyal.

“Oh I am never doing that – again.”
“If she wants me to help her again, she’s crazy!”
“I should have never put myself out there like that.”

Your ego speaks so fluently to your needs and that’s exactly how it’s suppose to act. We as a being have this innate response to fight our opposition or flee with super-agility. It’s within our reason of attachment that makes the decisions harder.

In my job  it’s taking a tremendous amount of bravery to deal with negativity head-on. An eight hour shift of irate customers indirectly blaming you for their issues is no rainbow puking sunshine shitting task. Most people would run away and coddle their energy with crass justifications. But without balance or resistance where would we be? Innovation would lose all purpose and we eventually would die out because we somehow forgot that rising to the occasion is victorious and confidence boosting.

Along co-creating our adventure with the universe we absentmindedly misplaced our loyalty in ourselves and others. Luckily not all is lost. Single parents struggling to provide 222% for their kids is an essence of loyalty. Anyone that chooses to stand up against a bully is an essence of loyalty. The teacher that stays after-school to offer guidance to a student who suffers in school and at home is an essence of loyalty.

Taking a bullet isn’t a promise for pain. 

It’s a chance to step up and resist fear, disappointment and future suffering. Of course balance is to be implemented and not all opportunities for loyalty will be crystal clear but with each battle you seize a new piece of golden armor to be added to your defense.

Character builds and a legacy is born.

I’ve had quite a share of moments where I needed to speak out to test my bark as well as my bite. I’ve also learned to take my detentions, suspensions and groundings with honor because I know ultimately my loyalty survives on principle. This is who I am and what I need to express to the world.

So as the summer season finishes out it’s last final stretch, I will be continuing to overcome any obstacles that dare cross my path. And since you firefly are supremely loyal, I want you to get a color reading so we can team up in kickass soul searching and get you to take more bullets!

Gratitude going out to Alaska and back

I have some time before work to write to you and share all this bubbly bouncy energy that’s happening to me right now!

This morning I found a delightful comment on my Facebook and it struck me wildly as I was uncertain if you or anyone else for that matter can look, taste, touch and feel color differently since meeting me. The lack of knowing was only empty fears which were protecting me from my anxieties associated to rejection.

The light bulb is on.

A firefly all the way up in Alaska confirmed that she sees a new world because of me and I wanted to share this quick pic with you of her light-hearted yet earthmoving comment:

gratitude testimony color reader bernard charles color therapy

My striving Aries personality for simple truths and bold head-to-heart connections with others is what motivates me to continue my mission.

I genuinely want and desire for people to live in values that are not gray or overshadowed by negativity. We must as a community share the good, accept the kindness and fight the evil that lurks in our own closets. You are never alone and I realized this goes for me too.

In my phone I only have 49 contacts.

Most are for emergency purposes and business relations.

The 5% are the beings I love so unconditionally it’s hard to put into words. But in color the feelings are magenta, pink, orange, green and yellow!

People make me feel colors and if I can help one person awaken to colors daily then I know we can rectify our pains, mishaps and forgetfulness as humans.

Anyhoo, it’s a joyous pleasure in getting to know my clients and soul-friends on levels that mainstream society could not handle. If you need anything love-bug, you know where to find me, just follow the lights!