When I first read my fortune cookie yesterday I thought it was telling me that the destiny I have been given ceases and all plans would be left unfinished.
However a small twinge of resistance chimed in, I think it was this overshadowing silver playing it’s part as hope, and I discovered that it was not the word ‘die’ my ego flashed before me, but the word ‘diet.’
Truth be told I have been window shopping for new things to revamp and inspire my spiritual craft. A mortar & pestle being one thing on the wish list including a sundry of oils.I am in complete awe over oils (ones of magic or beauty). Herbs and tea would be the next sweet spot of my craft’s shopping cart.
I am addicted to shopping and not because I find that material things satisfy my soul but just the energy of giving empowers me. If something doesn’t sit well with me than I am happy to give it forward to someone that desires exactly that and of course would be able to use it.
Small businesses are primarily how I give through my shopping-addiction. Really, how cool is it to receive amazing merchandise or services in order to support a budding artist or solopreneur? Personally, I know how small biz scarcity feels and my views on abundance + money certainly are changing little by little.
Yet, I continue to feel like my financial setting isn’t fit for a King or Queen.
My mother raised me primarily on survival instincts and modesty because being impoverished was no easy task. Born and raised on government food stamps, missed out on many birthday celebrations (I did not receive typical birthday parties or attend any due to the lack of my ability to bear gifts), and forfeited other strayed opportunities because money + material seemed to be the crux of all existence.
This fortune that I received at an endless chinese buffet in the middle of a diverse community of pro-small business support spoke to me when I opened my eyes and listened to the transformation my inner voice made.
Just because you don’t have money doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the honey.
The old me felt that indulgence was careless and irresponsible when it comes to eating and having a good time. Most of my life I watched my paternal family throw away their money by not paying bills on time and supporting other unhealthy habits like drugs. Continually observing this financial behavior and comparing it to my self-worth and my own abundance left me afraid. What else is a child to do? Unfortunately, I chose to believe this was it and all it could be.
My maternal side of the family had a different approach and it wasn’t gregariously throwing money away but more so sacrificing happiness. I watched my mother rise in nobility as a great mom serving only her 5 kids, but lost the connection in self-love and benefits of self-indulgence. Grant it she is a simple gal with lots of love for art and books, but I longed to see happiness enrapture herself that didn’t come from her children.
All in all, I coped by scrooginizing my share because micromanaging abundance and happiness seemed to be the logical thing to do in order to get by. Basically, you know what to expect and don’t really need the extraneous fluff. It’s building a tolerance for abundancy and my dinner on the Autumn equinox questioned that defense mechanism.
This fortune suggested quite a turn in my understanding of living in the moment and what it means to be happy. Of course everything set aside, there must be balance. I am not suggesting we throw out the baby with the bathwater like my father’s side of the family or taking only enough water to wash the baby and forget about washing ourselves, but I am merely presenting that perhaps money like magic is all about how you use it.
A key ingredient in this fortune as well speaks about being present because we never know what tomorrow may bring. And this is indeed true and it may very well be our last day and so I believe that happy energy ultimately conjured with the highest intended good is a sweetness to indulge and not be afraid to live by.
So we just gotta have a little faith in ourselves and the universe will provide.
Would love to have you indulge in your soul-awareness through color! Join the rainbow altar challenge, it’s FREE!